Signs of an Abusive Relationship and How to Get Help.

The following warning signs are taken from this website.

Does the person you love...

• constantly keep track of your time?
• act jealous and possessive?
• accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
• discourage your relationships with friends and family?
• prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
• constantly criticize or belittle you?
• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)
• humiliate you in front of others? (Including "jokes" at your expense.)
• destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?
• have affairs?
• threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?
• push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?
• force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?

Getting out of an abusive relationship isn't easy, but help is out there!  Call 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or go here. 

Luisa, 20 Years at House of Ruth: Part 4

One day, I asked Luisa the question, "Why do women get back with their abusers?"

Luisa responded, “The women take action and the guys realize that they are going to lose the women. So the guys act all sweet, like they’ve changed, and women want that. But women can avoid it by joining support groups and taking domestic violence classes. There they can learn the signals and red flags because they learn the behavior of abusers.”

"It’s like a woman who is walking towards a hole. She sees the hole. She knows it’s there. Well eventually she is going to fall in that hole. Women also go back because they are embarrassed to tell family about their situation, and also because they are afraid financially. Religion and culture is another reason. Some Latino women see abuse as a normal part of life. But I know that God disagrees with the abuse.”

Luisa, 20 Years at House of Ruth: Part 3

Luisa remembers a particular client’s story. This woman came from Guatemala and ended up traveling with her daughter and three coyotes. The men were planning on raping her and her daughter, and the woman knew she wasn’t safe and had to escape.

She pretended to be very sick and begged one of the men to take her to the pharmacy. Her real plan was to buy something to drug the men. She went into the pharmacy and instead of buying medicine for herself, bought sleep medicine. Meanwhile one of the men was waiting at the doorway watching her, but trying not to look too suspicious.

That night, she offered to make the men coffee and in doing so she slipped the sleeping pills into the drinks. They slept real well, and the woman and daughter were able to escape. God gave her the wits to survive that night unharmed. She eventually came to live at House of Ruth, where she received the support and safety that she needed.